Accepting care/ support role is unsustainable 🥺

[Determined]

Thanks @FloatingFeather 

We think he has maybe improved enough to not be palliative now ? Wishful thinking ? Hard to say. Will have that discussion on Monday all to plan

He has woken up with improving obs but unfortunately seems to be less coherent.

Comes and goes cognitively. Life is a mystery to him atm but content most of the time so that is a silver lining, at least he is not distressed. 

Working through arranging care and finding a vacancy is proving to be quite draining. 

[tyme]

Sitting with you at this time @Determined .

How are you travelling yourself? I hear how draining it can be.

[Determined]

Thanks @tyme 

Ok would be a stretch but safe and surviving. Not sleeping and prone to unexpected tears. 

[Determined]

Making some progress onncare applications and acceptance from Dad (inlaw) has helped. 

Best prospects are between 50 and 70 km from home which is less than ideal bit is what it is. Closer to home on waiting lists. But that could be months. 

[Shaz51]

Yes @Determined it was 60kms for us to visit 

All places had a waiting list and I had to start paying for the hospital bed where mum was until something was available 

Now mum is back into our local aged care and mum thinks I am travelling a fair way to visit here 

@FloatingFeather , @tyme , @Appleblossom , @Dimity , @BlueBay 

[Determined]

Thanks @Shaz51 

You have been through all this also. Rough times and glad it has worked out for you and your mum.  

Everyone keeps telling me I should visit less because I am runnimg down but but easier said than done. Twice now when I have decided not to.visit things have gone bad

 Completely unrelated but for me that comes with regret about missed opportunity.  

[Shaz51]

Morning @Determined how is everything going 

I visit twice a week , feeling guilty that I don't visit enough but it is hard when I do visit and it usually wipes me out for a day 

[Determined]

Understand that feeling @Shaz51 

Pretty tired here.

Trying to visit every day which is draining because it 100km round trip. 

[Determined]

Don't know what to do re Darling in all of this. Not knowing what is happening or how long we have left with Dad is messing with her and the cycle of abuse is amping up.

I need to find the balance between compassion and the line that abuse is not ok in a way that is sustainable for our relationship. Would be bery easy to over react and walk away at the moment 😥

[Shaz51]

Ohh hugs @Determined , thinking of you and your darling and your family soo much 

It is very  hard to be strong at times 

One of My auny went up to visit mum whom she has not seen for months 

She came back with a wonderful report,  I had tears as my mum treats me totally different to her other visitors when I see her 

@FloatingFeather , @tyme , @Gwynn , @Appleblossom , @Dimity , @amber22 , @moderator