hey @Former-Member good to hear that you're ok. A good set of health professionals can make all the difference.
From your writing I totally get how you feel. But I really do feel you can get better - you do show a real strength.
I wanna give you a few lines out of a song. I've posted these before but they really did help when I was at my worst. But I think I'll add a few more lines in for you.
Check out my swag' yo, I walk like a ballplayer
No matter where you go, you are what you are player
And you can try to change but that's just the top layer
Man, you was who you was 'fore you got here
Only God can judge me, so I'm gone
Either love me, or leave me alone
I dunno it always said to me that the illness isn't me. Underneath it all I'm still who I am and I should be proud of that. Hopefully it might shine a little light into that darkness you talk about.
