Lived Experience Forum

[tyme]

Hey @BlueBay ,

Thank you for the update. I agree with what you have said in terms of you going to see your father. I think working on telling yourself this again and again will help you go through the challenges at this time.

You are not there the please her. You are not there to get into an argument. You are purely there to see your father. 

Fingers crossed it goes through and you will be able to see him. 

Hugs

[Shaz51]

I agree @tyme 👍

[NatureLover]

• I really hope you can do as you want and see your dad and give him a hug... Sending wishes for you @BlueBay 🤞

[tyme]

Fingers crossed for today @BlueBay . How are you?

Take a big DEEP breath. 

If things work out, great. If not, accept it even if it hurts.

Thinking of you.

[BlueBay]

hi @tyme @NatureLover @Shaz51 @ArraDreaming @SmilingGecko 

I am sorry i haven't replied sooner.  I haven't been well with my high BP.  On saturday morning i went to see my dad.  Yes i did see him.  Mum was her normal self - horrible, angry, agitated, not happy to have me there.  Dad on the other hand was happy to me, hubby and our son who was overseas for 2 years.  There was NO conversation from my mum.  she sat there and did not say a word.  My dad spoke to my son and that was it.  They never asked about my other kids or granddaughter.  Didn't ask about hubby's job either.  Nothing.  She kept getting up and walking away, going outside, to the kitchen area and to the garage.  After 1/2 hour I thought i can't handle this anymore i need to get out.  We left and i feel she was very happy we were leaving.  

And they did not even tell me about his health, surgery and cancer diagnosis.  I did quiz him about his BP meds in the hope that he would tell me - but no he didn't.

I have a feeling that my dad said yes he wanted to see me but my mum wouldn't have liked it.  i think that's why she was so angry.  she was expecting a fight from me and waiting for me to start.  but i just sat there and talked general stuff with my dad.  she was very agitated as she didn't get her way so that's probably why she kept leaving to go outside.

I am happy i saw him but angry that he couldn't tell me about his recent surgery.  So i am not meant to know.

My kids cannot believe what she is like.  I saw my GP this morning and told him what happened and wasn't happy at all.  

I am not buying her a present for mothers day next week.  i may call her on the day and say happy mothers day just so i can keep the 'line' open between us so i can still see my dad.  it's tough because i really don't want to see her anymore. 

i have to be careful of my own BP.  this morning it was extremely high (crisis high) where i prob should be in hospital.  buy my GP has changed my meds and i have to see him again on thursday.  but in the mean time if i am feeling any other symptoms i am to go to ED.  209/95 is very very high.

so i guess out of all of this - i got to see my dad.  he looks ok but i know he is worried about his health.  

[Shaz51]

I am sooo glad that you saw your dad  my awesome sister @BlueBay that is the main thing xoxo

of course you are going to worry about your dad like i did for my mum 

I lost my mum 2 weeks yesterday xoxo

@SmilingGecko , @ArraDreaming , @NatureLover , @tyme , @Jynx , @PinkFlamingo 

[BlueBay]

oh @Shaz51 i am so sorry to read this sad news.  Sending you hugs and love.  xxxxoooo

[Shaz51]

thank you my forever sister @BlueBay 💓

[NatureLover]

Am so pleased that you got to see your dad, @BlueBay ! 👍

And I think it's great that your mother didn't say anything. Despite making things very uncomfortable, it could've been worse if she'd said stuff. 

[tyme]

@BlueBay !

Wow! I haven't been online for a few days, but I'm so glad to hear you actually got to see your dad in flesh! That's amazing!

I also have to say, I don't think you expected any more from your mum so at least her behaviour was expected.

Well done on going through with seeing your dad, despite all the trepidation and anxiety it may have stirred up.

Way to go!